Kebab Meat AND Chips, please.

The Georgian, Talbot road, Blackpool, England

HERO: The Georgian
Published 10-01-2013

This month's hero is (was) an actual place. A place of worship, a place of devilry, a place of deep-fried sorcery… Well, battered sausages, fish & chips, pies, pasties, kebabs and much, much more. The Georgian was a place where buggerers, fairiy cakes, queens, lady-boys, crusty rockers, indie kids and smelly student types all hung out in hungry harmony. The Georgian was (past tense) a pantheon of pasties. The Georgian fed our collective faces for many years long after every other fast food joint had closed. How did we ever survive?

Alas, late last year, 'they' (the powers that be) closed the place down and knocked down the block. So sad… We need a gold-plated memorial battered sausage to commemorate times past. My guts are bad.

. A battered sausgae

The Georgian

All these Heroes are making me puke! So...

CUNT: Nicolas Cage

Villain: Nicolas Cage
Published: 11/01/2013

This picture was spotted in Bangkok two weeks ago. Now, I liked Con Air, and I liked Leaving Las Vegas, and even The Weather Man was a good movie. Wild At Heart was also a good movie which just happened to have Nic Cage in it. Oh, and Adaptation was a good one. But the travesty of re-making The Wicker Man, and just about every film Cage has done since then made me pretend the man no longer existed. Then I saw this. CUNT, I thought. A hugely succesful actor who gets paid squillions of dollars to pretend to be somebody else in a tedious amount of banal, sub-standard crap, and he goes and does this shite for even more money.

I'm glad you value every moment with your whatever it is you're selling, Nic. You no longer have any artistic merit. Now get out of my face forever, you hooker.

And... Cunt! Leonardo Di CapriHo

Fat Hooker

Villain: Leonardo Di CapriHO
Published: 11/01/2013

Also seen in Bangkok recently was THIS fat-faced man selling any old iron to the indifferent crowds for cash he no longer needs nor cares for. Clearly Leo only made several millions of dollars last year, so he had to do this. Poor Leo. Say, Leo... I saw you flogging tyres in Japan a few years back! Yes Leo, I know you just cannot wait to put your fat face to any product placed in front of it. You're a sell-out little bitch.