La Bestia Nello Spazio (Alfonso Brescia AKA Al Bradley, 1980)
(Or if you prefer...)
La Bestia Porno Nello Spazio (Alfonso Brescia AKA Al Bradley, 1980)
The Sci-Fi EuroSleaze Classic Just Got Explicitly Sleazier!
(Permit me one more...)
Like the 80s Flash Gordon with actual penetration!
This 1980 Italian sleaze-fest stars Swedish born-for-porn star Marina Frajese (here billed as Marina Hedman, and also known as Marina Lotar ), and Finnish sex fiend Sirpa Lane, star of the notorious La Bête (The Beast). Whereas La Bête is curiously considered as arthouse, The Beast In Space is not. Quite right too.
This zero budget porn sleaze shocker in space is bad. But it does have some charm. The male cast are all cheeky, sleazy Italian porno chaps in poor costumes, and all the ladies cast were European porn stars.
It gets worse: There's a plot! Captain Madison, ('Larry' to his friends) meets the lovely Sondra (Sirpa Lane) in a space bar. Then happens a brief, vaguely pathetic space bar brawl with the cheeky Juan Cardosa (Imagine a sleazy Han Solo), who is high on 'Uranus Milk': Milk from youranus. Captain Madison (sorry - 'Larry') ends up in bed with with the lovely Sondra. She keeps on having lurid nighmares/flashbacks of her being raviged in the woods, which is a flaccid attempt at referencing La Bête. As she tells 'Larry' of her twisted, slightly erotic nightmares, he falls asleep. Marvellous.
It transpires that Sondra ain't no bimbo in space, but also a spacelady (a pornonaut?). So Sondra and 'Larry' have to go on a mission to find Antalium on the planet Lorigon and stuff. Together, Larry, Sondra and some dodgy-looking porn stars all fly off to Lorigon to confront their destinies... SEX IN SPAAAAAAACE!
Geez. The Beast In Space is available in two versions: a soft version (mild sauce. Naked frivolities) and a XXX hardcore porn version La Bestia Porno Nello Spazio. Both are poor(no), but at least the XXX version offers a bit more interest, especially as the film sags in the midriff.
There are some terrific (read: bad) scenes throughout. When the crew arrive on Lorigon, the ladies begin rubbing themselves over footage of horses copulating (which is another reference to La Bête), which is both random and bizarre. The dubbing is atrocious! Nowhere near in sync! You can even see the actors speaking, but no dubbing was supplied! And the final light sword sabre battle is priceless. Actually it's not. The price for these FX were exactly 55 Lire. Rubbish.
Ryko/Severin released both versions, and according to their DVD blurb, The Beast In Space was purchased at auction, whereas the XXX version was found in a derilict Porn Cinema in Bologna! Well, kudos for them getting their grubby hands on both versions and releasing them into the world. No really! Also, there's a super little extra on the 'unrated' DVD for all fans of 1970s Italian films.
In conclusion; well worth a watch for fans of smut & sleaze, but it never quite reaches the true notoriety of La Bête, though. The Beast In Space is a so-bad-it's-good porno, and nothing more. And the ladies were VERY hairy back then as well.
BELOW: Marina Frajese/Hedman/Lotar (whichever you prefer) relaxing at home. Mmm, it appears she's looking for her ankle bracelet. (Does she know she's actually wearing it?)
